2010 Top Ten Imperfect Moments

The imperfect moment is a gift. It is our teacher to meet and to learn from. It is the joy of living this moment instead of the suffering of trying to make this moment different than what is here right now. It is the letting go of how we think things should be for the experience of how things are.

1. Under the Covers

I spent a great deal of time under the covers in the first months of 2010. Some people may think this was illness, laziness, or hiding. For me it was both hibernation and healing. If you ever have the opportunity to hibernate, to slow your body and mind down, to be with the quietest unfolding within while darkness reigns without you may discover mysteries you wouldn’t have believed possible and silent love without end.

2. A Blog with Typos

I started a blog! This one right here that you are reading. I kept it mostly secret for weeks while I fluttered with vulnerability at all I was sharing and all the typos I kept printing, but slowly I’ve grown more bold and its purpose and potential comes into being.

3. Growing Weeds

I made this beautiful garden. It wasn’t as grand as I’d planned or as perfect as I’d imagined, but it gave me a place to put my hands in the dirt and it grew us vegetables and weeds in abundance.

4. Killing a Chicken

Farm sitting this summer I slaughtered a chicken: nothing perfect about it but the true experience of death at the center of life.

5. A Perfect Meal

I ate the chicken with my dear cousin outside on a late summer evening. This meal was perfect. It was messy, juicy, and wonderful. We moaned in delight.

6. Moving Back to Vermont

I didn’t. I wanted to so badly and pushed and pulled the universe to see it my way, but it simply wouldn’t and finally I accepted the signs and came home to New Hampshire. Then from this place of allowing my life blossomed, my energy improved, my heart opened. Not getting our way is a wonderful thing.

7. Uncovering Love

The love is here, sometimes it is just hiding under the covers! This year the love inside me came out, not in some perfect graceful way but through the awkward uncomfortable process of inquiring into my imperfect mind of judgments and closed doors until the doors opened and the judgments jumped out the window. I was love all along.

8. The Girl Effect

In one week with your help I raised $2000 for girls in Bangladesh as part of The Girl Effect Campaign.  This was less than my goal of raising $6000, but a great deal more than nothing! It will go such a long way to help many girls lift their lives out of poverty and toward possibility. We must be prepared for the success of failure! And if you are looking for more gifts to give before the end of 2010 you can still contribute to this fund. Learn more here.

Give Now

9. Getting Up Off the Ground

For the past four years I’ve spent a great deal of time resting and lying on the floor with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Not the perfect plan I had for my life, but my life none-the-less. For the past two months I’ve been up, and not just up, I’ve been dancing.  Maybe next month I’ll be down again, but the shift feels more stable and strong than ever before.

10. Singing at the Chapel

On Christmas Eve I walked from my brother’s cabin a few miles away from home through the woods to a small chapel in a near by open valley.  I went inside and found the only seat still open and with my community I listened to readings and I sang. Not only do I not have a perfect voice I struggle to keep a tune at all. But on this night my singing was perfect in its imperfection. My voice attuned to those around me and I felt the growing light within, and in the space and sound and night. I felt the love being made in the moment. This is my home.

So what can I say? I’m unfinished and a failure, but happy and in love. I hope for grand and magical imperfect times for all of us in the coming year! Kiss your fear!

Photo from the flickr photostream of anotherJoe.

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