This post is about masturbation and money.

So if either of these subjects scare you, embarrass you, or excite you I suggest you take a few breaths before reading further.

These subjects certainly scare me, embarrass me, and excite me. And writing to you about them terrifies me. So I’m just going to hide behind this Ani Difranco song before continuing.

I am shy. I care about the opinions of others. I’ve never written a post so hesitantly, so slowly, and with so many distractions. I’ve now watched all the Ani Difranco music videos on youtube and explored and reorganized the contents of my refrigerator more than once and I’m still only a few sentences into this post.

Why in the world would I write a blog post about masturbation and money? What am I thinking? Why pair these two particular topics? Am I playing a new antiprenuer game (see Stilloud for more on these sorts of games) where I try to see how many people I can get to unsubscribe from my blog in one day?

No. I have something I have to say.

That it is okay to masturbate. That it is okay to make money.

That self-care must extend to meet all aspects of our life, including our sexuality and our finances—maybe especially our sexuality and our finances. And that sometimes we must take matters into our own hands! Waiting for THE MAN to come down and grant us income or an orgasm might mean giving away our own potential for gratification and earning, exploration and giving. And that ain’t living.

What do these two topics have in common? They both set off the same exact fear in me: The fear of appearing self involved or worse, down right selfish. Or god forbid they might think I’m self promoting!! But this post is part of the self-care program in which I love this fear right into its rightful place: The place where it doesn’t rule my life because it is small and afraid and just needs a hand to hold. Because I’m bigger than all this; I’m bliss and the source of bliss.

Or as Ani says so well, “I’m thirty two flavors and then some…” Here she is singing it:

Since I’ve now watched ALL her videos on youtube I feel almost as if she and I are writing this blog post together.

This post is about energy and spirit.

Money and masturbation are both subjects that make many of us nervous because they involve the flow of energy (not to mention endless cultural stories about hell and hairy hands). And the movement of energy while being the source of happiness and joy can also be overwhelming, uncomfortable, and frightening. By building our capacity for energy and spirit to move through us, or simply learning to not resist the energy and spirit that does flow through us, we are aligning ourselves with the possibility of a richer life experience.

One where we may among other things—have more orgasms and more money.

This post is about love.

For me, money and masturbation are just about the two most tender topics. There are numerous committee members on the inside of me that don’t want to talk about them in public (and are absolutely at there wits end that I’d talk about them both at the same time in public!!!), but there is another voice—a voice I recognize as love—that always advocates for educating, illuminating, and inspiring.  And this voice says: speak.

Speak about the edges of the universe. Speak about the pleasures of the self. Speak about the vulnerable event of being human.

While on the one hand I am a woman making a business as a teacher and artist, on the other hand I am a woman vulnerable as ever, muddling along, trying to piece the pieces together and let the energy and spirit flow, confused, taking wrong turns, falling down the right streets, having epiphanies, finding my feet, folding up on the floor.

So keep your hats on and your shoes off ladies and gentlemen because there will be more posts about tender topics and taking care right here. Part 2 of this very post will appear in the next few days in which I not only continue to talk about money and masturbation but I will also be selling you something wonderful.